Inside the Mind of a Sleep Deprived Mom

This has been my first week home alone with both boys.  I am beyond exhausted, but very proud of myself for not only having survived, but for having made it out of the house at least once each day with both boys in tow.  This is nothing short of a miracle, I assure you.  First, you have to pack for a small army, then you have to load up two in the stroller, or one in the stroller, one in the baby carrier, or two in the car seats…the combos are endless and none are easy.  Without fail, as soon as everyone is loaded in and ready to go…someone has a poopy diaper.  It’s almost a given that this will happen, yet every time it practically brings me to tears.


After our morning outings, we all come home and collapse.  Or at least I do.  On the rare occasion that both boys cooperate and actually nap at the same time, here is what happens, in case you have ever wondered what goes on in the mind of a sleep-deprived new mom of two little ones:

1. Sit on the couch for ten minutes, not really believing that both boys are asleep.  Hear someone crying, check the monitor and realize it must have been in my head (I hear crying babies all the time now, whether one of mine is crying or not.  Weird.  Could that be the first sign that I’m losing mi mind?)

2. Realize I haven’t eaten all day…rectify this by eating half a pan of cookies (rationalize by repeating to myself that breastfeeding burns 500 calories a day).  Feel guilty and decide to eat something healthy, something resembling a balanced lunch- toast with a slice of cheese…totally balanced.

3.  Aimlessly browse through my blog reader feeling a mixture of inspiration (“I should totally make that for dinner”) which quickly wears off, and envy (“Wow- amazing trip, great outfit, clean house”) which doesn’t wear off quite so quickly.

4. Think about showering.  Decide that would require too much effort.

5. Think about changing my nursing tank, which has spit up running down the front.  Decide that would require too much effort.

6. Think about unloading the dishwasher.  Decide that would require too much effort.

7. Think about folding the overflowing basket of clean laundry.  Decide that would require too much effort.

8. Decide to take a nap, and just as I’m drifting off…

Vik decides he’s hungry, again.  And shortly after we finish his feeding, a chorus of “mama” begins in Vijay’s room. Another nap time bites the dust.

9 thoughts on “Inside the Mind of a Sleep Deprived Mom

  1. eidolons

    You've totally just nailed my life. Except that none of my three boys nap anymore. And I'm pregnant.

    Hang in there, mama.

    Oh. And I recommend peanut butter oatmeal cookies. Butter, coconut oil, oats, peanut butter, very little sugar, whole wheat flour. You can almost pretend that they're good for you. (:

  2. Megan

    This is sounding so familiar. 🙂 It's going to get better as the adjustments happen and as he grows. Easier by the day. You can do this! When I'm upset or tired or frustrated (or all three, usually) I say “I can do hard things!” and I get that little boost of energy to get through the next 5 minutes. Nobody can eat the elephant at once. One bite at a time!

  3. Leandre

    Oh, I remember that time all too well! I finally got to the point where one of the first things I would do in the morning was set an intention for nap time. That is, I chose ONE thing that I wanted to do while the kids were asleep. Often, it was nap. Sometimes it would be to knit a row or two or prep dinner (not decide what was for dinner AND prep it, mind you). Once I got in the groove of doing the one thing I told myself I would do first, before allowing myself to get distracted by anything else, I had a mini sense of accomplishment, which made me feel better about all the stuff that wasn't done. I rarely prioritized stuff like the dishwasher or laundry, b/c I knew that that stuff would, eventually, get done. Nap time was for ME.

  4. mjb

    Here I've been choosing showers over trips out if the house! The one day we left, we came home and all napped and I didn't get lunch. Hang in there, it has to get easier!

  5. Sharon

    When my girls were little I used to wonder how I would survive another day. Somehow you get through and slowly get your sanity back. I feel for you, Christine!

  6. nikiz

    oh mama! my new little lady is 2 weeks old and my big guy is 2.5 years old. Wondering how you even had time to post this bit of awesomeness! I say, choose sleep and why oh why cant we swaddle our toddlers as effectively as the newborns?

  7. Anonymous

    you know, I've been thinking about your post, and this may be a long comment, BUT it needs to be said. I had 4 boys in 5.5 years… I know what you're talking about. Let me just say that as the years have passed and I have quite a bit more experience and 'wisdom', I think that young mothers are sold a bill of goods. They all (myself included) are told by our culture that they can do it alone. This is NOT how it always was… really DID take a village and that's what we've forgotten in our super-fast, advanced culture. Other women would surround a new mother and 'take care of her' while she took care of a newborn…..the new mom got lots of sleep, good food and everyone else (friends, neighbors, relatives) took care of the toddler(s). Unfortunately many of us do not have the luxury of living by relatives and so we must, by necessity, surround ourselves with good and caring friends…..women we are not afraid to call on to help us… is not FOREVER, but while you are getting used to 4 people in your home and getting your strength back, it's invaluable.

    This is true community.

  8. Susan Gibs

    Oh Christine! Having no children I can tell you that from the outside, it looks like you are handling this with your customary skill and grace.
    They are both amazingly beautiful.


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