A New Rhythm

With each passing day, I am growing more confident as a mother of two.  Vik is just pure sweetness, and Vijay is already taking his role as big brother very seriously.  The minute he comes in the house from playing outdoors, he starts asking, “Baby, baby?”  He seems to be tethered to his brother by some invisible thread, drawn to him, always loving and affectionate.  When other kids at the playground try to take a peek at “his baby” he becomes fiercely protective.  I can already tell that being an older brother comes naturally to him…and it warms my heart to witness this.

We’ve settled into a wonderful routine, with the help of my mom (above, feeding Vijay- if you’ve ever wondered where his curls come from, now you know!) and husband.  Their support gives me the strength to get through each day as I learn to maneuver out in the world with two little ones at my side.  We are spending more time at home- enjoying our backyard, the tiny pool, and scattered lawn toys.  I can sit comfortably on the porch and nurse as Vijay plays safely in our fenced in space.

That being said, I have become a bit braver when it comes to venturing out- like yesterday’s outing to the farmers’ market…just Vik and I, while the rest of the family rested.  The market is my happy place, and I was so thrilled to wander through the stalls overflowing with late summer bounty.

 (gorgeous bouquets from Robin Hollow Farm)

I came home with my market basket overflowing….sweet corn, cherry tomatoes, crisp lettuce, purple string beans, blackberries, red, yellow and purple bell peppers, nectarines, peaches, plums…oh, the list goes on and on.  It feels good to have a fully stocked fridge.

I dove right in to the produce and made a “kitchen sink salad,” dressed simply with cracked pepper and a dash of balsamic.  You know the kind- with everything but the kitchen sink.  A nursing mama must make her own nourishment a priority!  And so this is where we are right now….settling into a rhythm, watching our little baby grow and change with each passing day, getting used to our family of four, and just trying our best to thrive in the moment.  I’m so happy to report that it is getting easier with each passing day.

3 thoughts on “A New Rhythm

  1. Anonymous

    The first 2 weeks are a complete panic when you have a second. You will NEVER have such a panic again, though. Number 3 and on are never such a shocking transition.

    BUT after the first 2 weeks you do get into a better status quo and then after 6 (just as with the first) you will feel yourself turn a corner.

    Don’t have expectations any higher than everybody resting and feeding (and bathing at some stage).

    I remember feeling so proud as I walked to the playground with my 2 ½ year old and new born but the whole expedition collapsed in a heap at the side of the road with me nursing the baby and all 3 of us crying! I berated myself for being such a supermom wannabe.

    One suggestion is to use baby nursing time to be THE time you read to Vijay. When it’s time to nurse, tell Vijay to pick a book. If you call it Vijay’s book time, rather than Vikram’s nursing time, he will feel less put out. “baby Vikram likes to listen, too”. When you change diapers, give Vijay his vital helper job, such as handing you the wipes or the new diaper. When the baby cries can he hum a gentle tune to calm him.

    Baby number two was the only time I have ever been hit with mastitis, so be on the lookout for that (and don’t feel guilty about taking extra showers as a preventive measure). If it happens, make sure you takes lots of warm showers (or at a minimum dip your breast in a sink full of hot water) pump or nurse as much as you can and get antibiotics onboard ASAP (get a prescription called through for someone else to pick up as you will feel too ill to get out of bed. You will feel like the worst flu of your life, so do not mess around).

    EVERY single mother has gone through the shock and overwhelmingless (if that is a word) of what you are experiencing. Do not feel inadequate. Set your priorities as your health, your baby’s health and then Vijay’s stability and it will all settle into a happy routine. There is no shame in farming out ANY other activity that does not involve the direct care of yourself and your baby at this vulnerable time, whether it be sending laundry to a service, having a cleaning service come in, getting food delivered or having someone else entertain Vijay.

    And NEVER hesitate to ask for help from anyone. People LOVE to be told specifically how they can be of greatest help to you. Everyone shares the joy of a new little member of the human family and longs to be part of the process.

    Your photographs are exquisite.

    Love and warm wishes

    Clare

    Reply

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