I’d be lying if I said the first week home was an easy one. You’d think with the help of my mom, dad, brother and husband we could manage…and we do manage, but not without plenty of tears and feelings of being completely overwhelmed. Balancing the needs of a toddler, with those of a newborn baby seems a nearly impossible task.
Vijay is handling the new addition surprisingly well, given what a huge change has taken place. He adores the baby (that is unexpected!) and showers him with kisses and pats. And yet, he is very fragile right now- prone to crying fits for no reason, temper tantrums, back to waking up during the night, needy for his mama, and impatient when I am nursing and can’t attend to him. Luckily, my husband and parents are keeping him active with plenty of visits to the park and pool. How I’m supposed to keep this up once everyone leaves…I have no idea. And yet there are moments when both boys are asleep, and the house is in some kind of order, and I think…we’re going to make it. It’s going to be okay.
As for baby Vikram…he is all sweetness and joy. To hold him is to feel at peace. He is an easy, happy, content baby- nursing, sleeping- it all comes easily to him. He is already on a great night schedule, waking every 3 hours to nurse, and then right back to sleep. I can’t help but wonder why I thought this baby stuff was so hard the first time around. Compared with a busy, demanding toddler, it’s a piece of cake!
My mom is staying on through Wednesday, and my husband still has some time off. I am trying not to think about their leaving, and instead I’m using this time to allow my battered body to heal and rest while relying on my ‘team’ for help around the house and with meals. I feel like I will never physically be back to my old self- able to run, jump and climb right alongside my boys, able to keep up the house and have the energy to put together a meal at the end of each day. I hope this will come with time. As for now, we’re all just taking it one moment at a time…that’s all we can do, right? Yesterday, we all made it out of the house for a trip to the pool. It was relaxing and refreshing and we all made it there and back in one piece. For the first time since bringing our baby home, I knew it was all going to be okay.
p.s. a loving tribute to my baby from his auntie beth…how lucky are we to have her right across the street?!