I try to keep this blog upbeat. It is not in my nature to complain, especially not these days, when life is full of such wonderful blessings. I also try not to delve too deeply into personal matters. I appreciate bloggers that share everything from their birth story, to their baby’s embarrassing potty training moments…but there are some things that I find to be sacred, moments meant only for my family. I also feel that my little guy is not choosing to have his life chronicled in detail for the the whole world to read…so I try to keep details concerning him to a minimum.
I love every moment that I spend with my little man, and he is the happiest, most content baby around, but right now, the days feel very long and lonely. We make it out for a walk every day, but I am growing so weary of bundling us both up from head to toe. Often, by the time we are ready to go, I am exhausted. We have explored all of the indoor activities I can think of…from the botanical gardens, to the library…but those trips also require super-human efforts. Bundle up the baby, pack the diaper bag, schedule it perfectly between naps and feedings…finally, we are in the car and on our way, and the little guy starts his fussing. He hates the car (that picture above is his “car pout”)…he much prefers to be in his stroller, or Baby Bjorn.
And so…we spend the majority of our time at home together. I love it when he is awake…we play and giggle, listen to music and dance. But he spends so much time napping, and although I have so much to do, from house work to writing, I mainly just want to lay down and take a nap. Or pop in a movie and knit. That is all I feel like doing these days. I am frustrated with my lack of motivation.
Perhaps I need to be more gentle with myself, and allow time off for movies and knitting, napping and slacking off. Perhaps I need to give myself a break when dinner ends up being take-out instead of home cooking. I don’t know. I don’t know what the answer is, but I do feel a bit better just getting that off my chest.